The past two days are the best I’ve felt in a while. There are and have been a lot of ups and downs over the past 24+ days. There will be more crappy days coming up for sure, and it’s no easy ride. On the good days I can manage through the day, but still have muscle soreness, pinching in odd places and general discomfort. I’ve been trying to get my laps in around the hospital corridors and not sit in the same position all day. The calorie counting is a good little challenge to keep me occupied throughout the day. I still have a short attention span, so getting any long term tasks done is extremely difficult.
For everyone that’s posted on the blog, sent me text messages, email, carrier pigeons, etc., I’m very appreciative. I may not be responding, but I am definitely keeping up and enjoy the messages. These little reminders really help on the good days and the bad days. I realize just how many people truly care about what’s going on and want to help in some form or fashion. The messages are my motivation. I know of no other way people can help out or make this process any easier. I’m in a little time loop where my current liver is relatively stable and trying hard to get better, but still needs hospital support to get me to be fully functional. At the same time, it’s a waiting game for the surgeons to hear about “the perfect liver” and perform the operation. There is no timetable; it is out of our hands and impossible to predict. This is the hardest part: knowing that there is a solution out there but having no idea whether it will be today, tomorrow, next week, next month, or never. I’m fortunate to be in a stable condition at the moment so time is less critical. But, it still is a very hard concept to grasp, comprehend, and accept. I’m bound to this hospital until further notice.
Reading the comments on the blog, seeing an email or text, or knowing that all of you are participating in this journey through the blog is very touching to me. It helps me stay positive and allows me to look forward to our lives post transplant. Thank you all.