On Sunday, we stashed some avocados in a brown paper bag along with a banana to quicken the ripening process. This isn’t quack science like this Bert and Ernie banana sketch, but based on fundamental laws of fruit ripening: ethylene gas. When our avocados do get nice and ripe, we will be making guacamole. There are probably 6.022×10^23* variations of guacamole, but below you’ll find our basic process:
* See what I did there? A chemistry / physics joke (Avogadro’s constant) which sounds like avocado!
Guacamole
0.5 to 1 Avocado per person
1/2 tsp Lime Juice, freshly squeezed.
Salsa / Tomato chunks (optional)
1 clove Garlic
dash of salt
Hot Pepper Flakes
Hot or Mild Peppers (Cayenne, etc) depending on your tolerance.
1 – Cut the avocados into large chunks and place into a bowl. Don’t mash them to smithereens yet.
2 – Add remaining ingredients, sans salt, and mix with the avocados. Smash some pieces into a mush.
3 – When there’s a good distribution of large avocado chunks and avocado puree, taste the concoction.
4 – Not spicy enough? Add some hot pepper flakes. Need that salty zing? and a dash of salt. Too much garlic? Add another avocado.
5 – Repeat steps 3 and 4 until all guacamole is gone. Then goto step 1 to create new bowl of guacamole.
The Derek Janiak Hepatobiliary Forum 
Quac in the morning. Quac in the afternoon. Quac in the night time, too. For those of us who might have a Florida version of attention disorder, we (I) put California brown paper bag enshrouded avocados in the ‘frige in the likely event some of us (me) might overlook the enticing fruit for a few extra days. Result – chilled ripe avocados ready to be easily skinned with no “age spots”. We rarely have bananas on hand. Hummm! PS – Plentiful Florida avocados have two attributes. 1) Huge 2) No flavor.
Yes – avoid Florida avocados if you can. ‘No flavor’ is not an appealing attribute.