Piece of Me

Nikki asked:

“What is your latest thinking about the fact that Derek will literally have a chunk of Logan living inside him after the transplant?”

There’s a symbolic way of looking at this, that when I decided to spend the rest of my life with Derek, I already gave him a piece of my heart, so really what’s the big deal about the liver. It makes me think of one of my favorite e.e. cummings poems:

[i carry your heart with me(i carry it in]

BY E. E. CUMMINGS

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
                                                      i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

[source]

…and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart. <——–Damn! That’s some mighty fine poetry.

For those of you reading that don’t see the merits in poetry, I’ll explain it another way.

I believe in picking the right tool for the job. In this case my liver, and livers in general, are amazing tools. Not only do they keep us alive by performing over 500 functions–in cooperation with other organs–they also regenerate. My liver is in tip top shape, Derek’s is, well, not so much. So in this case, fixing Derek is the job, and the best tool is my rad liver. I feel so honored and amazed and humbled that there is a piece of me that might help Derek feel whole again. That I could give him something of mine that would make him better and grow to become a part of him, is a pretty amazing gift for me.

I have no romantic views of my body surviving the afterlife. When I die, I want every usable piece of me to be utilized by others, whether that’s through organ donation or scientific purposes. Frankly, if there is an afterlife, I would really prefer to have a body that has its knees in the right place as opposed to this sorry looking skin sack I’ve got right now. I am happy to part with a bit of my liver right now since it will grow back in both of us.

So, how do I feel about a chunk of me being surgically attached to Derek? Seems pretty cool, the ultimate way to mark my territory. Back off ladies! That man is mine!

I do hope his body likes it; this is a non-refundable, final sale situation.

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6 thoughts on “Piece of Me

  1. nikki says:

    Oh, okay, so it’s sort of like when Zack pees on things. “Mine.”

    Ha! Just kidding. You and your rad liver are amazingly beautiful, Miss Logan, and this post made me cry. And laugh. I hope his body likes it too, and thanks for addressing my question. Just to complete the picture (and to give you more blog fodder), I would love to hear D’s thoughts on this topic as well. Am I pushing my luck? 🙂

  2. Em says:

    This post made me think of three things:
    1. Zack’s “Mine”
    2. Perhaps Logan should write a cookbook on generating healthy livers. (Would it include a Bloody Mary recipe??)
    3. “Take it. Take another little piece of my liver now, baby!”

  3. Logan says:

    It’s pretty telling that you both immediately went to Zach. That was my thought as well. Zach has been my spirit animal for many years.

  4. […] answered her view of the question, “What is your latest thinking about the fact that Derek will literally have a […]

  5. […] Us Part”. After surgery, Logan will literally be a part of me, like she pointed out in her ‘Piece of Me’ post over a month ago.  It will be physically impossible for me to separate myself from her. She will […]

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