Snowboarding is very therapeutic for me. There are few places or situations where my mind drops everything else and concentrates on a single moment in time. Driving to the mountain, I had a little stomach-ache. While I was snowboarding, it disappeared. When I was driving home, same stomach-ache. It was a similar situation with the chairlift rides and stopping to chat, my mind wandered and I would think about my liver. But while I was on the snowboard, all thoughts were related to snowboarding. Turn now. Boy this snow is sticky. That turn could have been better. I should see how the snow feels over there. Oops, caught an edge. I’m doing that thing with my hands again. Stick your butt out a little more. That was great. Time to do quick turns and see if my legs are faster than the snowboard. Take it easy, this is a cruiser day. Don’t do anything stupid. Stay away from those bumps. There’s the lift, and *Poof* back to reality and a wandering mind.
I have been in conscious denial about this whole transplant – it’s surreal. If I stay busy, I can keep my mind occupied. But even during those busy times, I look down at the green cord I tied on my wrist to remind myself what my life is really like, and reality sets in and I have thoughts about livers, cadavers, survival rates, MELD scores, donations, Logan being a live donor, others as potential live donors, etc. But yesterday while snowboarding, there were no subconscious liver thoughts, just snowboarding. I don’t remember anything else during that time and it felt good.