Procedure Complete! Plus, An Open Letter To Nabisco/Honey Maid

My procedure went well today but I feel like my stomach and insides are constantly being pinched. Logan is making soup, because (a) I like her soup and (b) I’m not sure I could muster through lots of solid foods feeling this way.

As I was coming out of my groggy state, I dreamt that I had a blood transfusion and I was typing on a typewriter. What a relief to find out neither one was true! While I was in recovery, I was given water and individual packets of Honey Maid Graham crackers. Logan was kind enough to write down my frustrations about the packaging. I’ve included it below, verbatim:

Dear National Biscuit Company (a.k.a Nabisco),

I thoroughly enjoy your Honey Maid Honey Grahams. I recently was given the individual size (7.75 oz) and was vehemently disappointed in the packaging of the individual grahams. Upon opening, I found that the easily divisible pre-marked line was 90 degrees out of the ideal location. When opening the package along the length of the package, this should coincide with the pre-marked breakable graham cracker. It is frustrating that your machine has not been set up properly. Please consider refining your graham cracker production line to this simple and obviously correct packaging of your insanely good honey grahams. See the enclosed drawing for reference.

Sincerely,

Derek Janiak (who has survived on Honey Grahams and has been known to eat many packages at a time.)

If you feel that my recommendations are in error, please explain your rationale for packaging these tasty grahams as you do currently.

[From Logan: Yes. He actually dictated a letter to me. Really! I giggled so hard while I was writing that tears were streaming down my cheeks. Leave it to us to have a rip roaring time in the Endoscopy suite!]