I have passed the first phase of testing. My blood type is B neg, same as Derek, which confirms what we have known all along: we are totally made for each other! Now that Derek is listed, they are sending me on to the next phase of compatibility testing. You know, to see if we are literally made for each other.
On Thursday I will head down to Lahey to meet with the Senior Transplant Coordinator in charge of Live Donors. I will also meet with a surgeon and get more blood work done.
I will also have the opportunity to ask as many questions as I’d like. Derek can attest to the fact that I am a total question machine, so rest assured, I will ask a whole bleep-ton of questions. Here’s a random selection of some questions I might* ask:
- While you have me knocked out, can you also take a look at my knees? I’m pretty sure they’re in the wrong place on my legs. They’re too low. Or maybe too high, you guys are the doctors, you tell me!
- I understand you want to have me up and about as soon as possible after the surgery. What kind of incentives can you provide? Pro tip, my dad used to give me super cool stickers when I did my chores. I also enjoy mid-century modern furniture, so you know, putting a Saarinen Womb chair in bright orange fabric at the end of the hall–that I get to take home with me–will be very motivational.
- Can Derek and I have adjoining rooms? I think it might help his recovery if he’s nearby my half of the liver, you know, to keep his half from feeling homesick for my totally bodacious abdomen.
- I’ve already told Derek that my liver is a dude. Can you confirm the sex of my liver and/or not tell Derek the truth if my liver is maybe a girl?
- Is it true that I have to swear off fried foods while my liver grows back? Can I have some kind of dispensation since I’m midwestern and I’m pretty sure fried dough will inspire my liver to grow much faster? And don’t try to trick me with the New England version of “fried dough.” Fool me once. Or maybe every time I see a sign in the Northeast that says “fried dough.” I’m looking at you Canobie Lake.
- I’ve noticed that you have a squishy ice machine in the cafeteria. Any chance I can get that thing wheeled up to my room for my recovery?
That should just about cover it! If you have any questions for me, or that you’d like me to ask, let me know! I’ll update the blog when I get some answers.
*It is highly unlikely that I will ask the doctors and nurses any of these questions. Except the one about the ice machine. I love that ice machine. It will be mine.